Going Deeper When it Feels Safer in the Shallow by Heather Wagner
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25).
These verses are often heard in the context of a conversation that includes a statement like:
“You don’t have a church? The Bible says we shouldn't stop meeting with a local body of believers.”
Hebrews was actually written as an encouragement to early Jewish believers who, under intense persecution and disappointment, were wrestling with whether they’d made the right decision in converting to Christianity. That encouragement is still relevant today. We can almost hear the author of Hebrews pleading with us, saying: “I know things are scary and hard right now. Don’t go it alone! Help each other hang on!”
Though I have long recognized the importance of learning, growing, and serving alongside a body of believers, I have only recently discovered the first four words of Hebrews 10:24. When they grabbed my attention, I opened a concordance to dig deeper. Then I shut the book and took a deep breath.
I’M GONNA NEED A MINUTE.
After moving three summers in a row, I’d struggled to find the motivation to start over in the friendship department. God knew I needed a minute to rest, heal, and reflect. He gave me time, and then he gave me community.
But after cultivating friendships with some amazing women, I became comfortable bobbing around in the shallow end of the friendship pool. I wasn’t stuck; I chose the shallow end because it didn't require a lot of effort, and it felt safe.
Maybe you’ve been there before, too.
But the longer I sat with the text, the more I understood that stirring my friends on to love and good deeds meant I had to lose the floaties and dive into deeper waters.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
It turns out, the phrase “and let us consider” comes from the Greek word katanoeó (kat-an-o-eh'-o). It’s a verb that means to take note of, make account of, perceive, carefully consider, discern, detect, notice, or observe.
Slightly intimidated and unsure of where to begin, I opened a blank document on my laptop, made a page for each of my close friends, and started writing. For the next six months, I paid attention to what my friends said about their families, hobbies, hopes, and struggles. I took notes, and asked God to help me notice what made them feel seen, known, and loved.
This consideration soon became a joy! It’s a worthy investment, an ongoing commitment to know my friends well enough to serve them in ways that aren’t meant to be impressive, but impactful. Eventually, the shallow end became a pit stop; a place to visit with acquaintances, not one in which to hide. It took some work, but the deep end of friendship is pretty awesome.
I wonder if maybe you’d like it, too?
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You loved your friends perfectly to the very end. Let me love in deed and truth. Open my eyes, and help me understand how to serve my friends in a way that honors who they are and brings you glory!
Journal Prompts:
When has a friend showed up for you in a way that helped you persevere?
Are you guarding your heart in a way that prevents others from knowing, loving, or encouraging you when you need it?
Dig Deeper:
How might a deeper understanding of the definition of the word katanoeó help a person grasp what Jesus is communicating in Matthew 7:3?
About Heather Wagner
Heather Wagner is a wife, mom, and writer who is passionate about encouraging women in every season to escape the prison of perfectionism and embrace the peace and purpose found only in Jesus. Her adventures as a military spouse and a middle school English teacher grew her faith and inspired her writing. She and her husband, James, have been married for 23 years and have three children. They live west of Ft. Worth, Texas, where you’ll find Heather driving the backroads, exploring locally-owned shops, and writing music with friends.
