Episode 158. Speaking with Confidence with Csilla Muscan

Unedited Transcript

Csilla. Thank you so, so much for being with me today. I'm so excited to have. Thank you for having me, Rebecca, this is, this has got to be fun. This is going to be really fun. So I love when I get to have conversations like this that are super practical and I know will be so impactful to my listeners. A lot of our conversations are with authors, right?

Because they've written these amazing messages that they put out into the world. And, um, And we get to kind of impact those. And this is a little bit more like coaching style, which is totally me, which is so fun. And so before we kind of jump in to a little bit of this material, I would love for you to just share a little bit more about you and the work that you do.

I don't usually ask that question, but because this is kind of a different type of episode, I'd love for our people to hear from you a little bit more about you. And they're saying, thank you so much for asking that. Yes. So my name is Sheila Muskegon and I'm a speaking and messaging experts, you know, um, as a highly introverted person and reserved person, I was the least likely candidate for becoming a motivational speaker.

Let alone speaking, like teaching other people how to do. But, you know, God has a sense of humor. Let me just tell you that. And when he tells you to do something, you do not want to argue with a guy. He, he always wins. So here I am. 20 plus years later, I've been speaking and singing on stage. From the time I was about 17 years old and now I also get to teach other people how to present their message.

Well, on stage, whether that's a social media stage or an actual physical stage, um, I believe that when your mission and your purpose are bigger than your fear, It pushes you beyond your comfort zone and you do things that you never thought you would do. And when we do that, amazing things can happen. And that's what happened for me.

So I absolutely love working with female entrepreneurs and business owners. Have a message that they want to share, and they have a passion for getting that message in front of as many people as possible because they know the impact and the difference that it can make in other people's lives. So my part is to really help business owners clarify their message to structure and deliver that message.

Effectively, and then learn how to use their voice and their words. Um, not only strategically, but confidently and not to impress people, but to impact. And, um, on a personal note, I'm sure probably people by now notice my accent. There's also a uniqueness to my name. And the reason for that is because I am ethnic Hungarian.

I was raised in Budapest, Hungary, and my husband and I moved to the states in 2007. And currently we live just outside of Nashville with our kiddos and we love, we love it here. That's amazing. That's so cool. I think your accident is beautiful. I was so tired cause I, I just it's beautiful. Thank you. Okay.

Definitely not a Southern accent or a Northern accent. Yeah, it's different. People talked about this a little bit before we started. I'm a Tennessee girl at heart. I've spent my whole life in Tennessee until I moved to south Mississippi to join my husband and ministry here. But I can always tell when I'm.

A little too much time, not a little too much. I can never have too much time with my family, but a little too much time in Tennessee because I come back to Mississippi and everybody will tell me, oh, wow. Yeah. You just spent a weekend in a seat because the dialect is just different enough, like deep south accent.

I, yeah, I hope I never totally adopt

for Tennessee. I hope I never get the full Twain is a little different, so it's, isn't that amazing how quickly we pick up on those things? It's yeah, we really do. We really do. Well, I am excited to talk about a few things with you. One of them is speaking with confidence. I think a lot of us struggle with that, especially in the, I know I'll speak to my own personal experience.

I can tell. When I've not been on a stage in a while, you know what I mean? I taught at a retreat earlier this year. It was a, it was a smaller group of people. Um, but I hadn't, I hadn't spoken publicly in about a year and a half. And I remember feeling so different than maybe the last time that I had taught, um, pre pandemic.

I know that many of our listeners who maybe do some public speaking. Probably feel in a similar camp to that right now. And so how do we begin to take steps forward towards being a more confident speaker? What does that look like? Yeah. And, you know, that's something that I've been hearing from a lot of my clients and students, especially saying now with coming out of 2020, because.

Pretty much all of the physical stages have been taken away. I know that I had to pivot quite a bit last year. Um, and you know, just like with anything else, speaking is like a muscle, basically, if you don't use it, it atrophies. And so then you kind of have to start from scratch. But the, the, I guess the tips, tips that I would give people, it goes for everybody, whether you've been speaking for a while and you just took a break and now you want to come back.

Or if you're just starting out, you know, I always say to my clients, there's a reason why public speaking made the most fear things list, ride, because it's one of those things that it's a nerve wracking, right? Even a seasoned speaker still gets nervous before they get on stage. But, um, here are three things.

I'd say that really helps with competent confidence. First thing is strategic preparation. The second thing is practice and the third thing is action. So when I say. Strategic preparation. There's a reason why I say the word strategic is because most of the people that you look up to, the big keynote speakers and the big motivational speakers, they are following a system.

There's a plan behind what they're doing. They're not just winging it, even though it looks natural, it looks effortless. There is actually a method to the madness, right? So there's their fault. Following a framework. I remember the first time. I went to a John Maxwell event. So I was trained by John Maxwell to be, become a speaker, uh, by his program, I should say.

And, um, you know, of course he's an amazing public speaker. And I remember going into one of the trainings where the head coach for speaking dissected, John Maxwell is one of his speeches. And the intentionality that went into the whole speech was just mind blowing. So he was very, very purposeful in everything that he did, the points that he made, the stories that he used, the data.

So all of that, to say that you need to be strategic in your preparation because when you know what you're doing, that's a Livi alleviating a lot of the stress and the, you know, not feeling confident. So that's the first one. The second step is practice. So once you know what your speech is going to look like or what you're going to be talking about, and you have a clarity around that, now you can practice.

And what practice does is not only. Makes you feel more confident and come across more confident when you are on stage, but it also gives you feedback on whether there's a good flow to your presentation or whether you are going over time or whether you need to take some points out and, uh, you need to move some things around.

And then of course, The more you practice, the more comfortable you feel. So when I, um, started singing, I remember I was told by my coach that I needed to. No, the song in and out to the point that if somebody woke me up in the middle of the night, I would be able to sing the lyrics. That's just like the on cue.

And what that does is when you show up and the nerves kick in you're you're, um, what's the automatically what you, the memory kicks in. So you don't even have to think about it. Yes. Yes. And so when you practice your speech and advance your muscle memory is going to kick in, even when you are facing the nerves.

And as I said, everybody faces the nerves, especially the beginning of a presentation. I would say probably the first five minutes for me is always kind of nerve wracking. And I've been doing this for a long time, you know, um, But then the final step in that would be action. And I know that this is the part that most people wish that they could skip or somehow go around.

But the reality is that nothing helps you become better, but by actually doing it right. So, uh, I don't know who was, who was that said, if you want to be a writer, right. If you want to. Be a singer saying if you want to be a speaker speak. Um, what I love about action is that it gives three things. So it gives clarity, it gives feedback and it boosts your confidence.

So when you take an action step, now you've got more clarity on what you, what you need to do next, right? So when you are starting to speak, then you get a, you know, you, you get clarity on, okay, this is what I need to improve. This is what I need to change the same with. You know, it gives feedback, um, on, um, where you're doing well, w where you need to pivot or do you need to move into a different direction, you know?

And then, um, It also boosts your confidence in two ways, because if you show up and speak and you do really well, it boosts your confidence because like, Ooh, kudos to you that you did really well. Right? You did better than you thought you would do. And if you don't do well, or if you're you struggle, then it still boosts your confidence because in a way you're subconsciously telling yourself that.

This was hard, but I showed up, I did it. Um, and I survived and next time I can do it better. And so, um, I would say those would be my top three recommendations for anyone starting out or wanting to boost their confidence as a speaker. Right. That's so helpful. So, so helpful. I love that. And man, I can tell the difference when I have had time to.

Practice multiple, multiple walk-throughs of like my entire talk versus feeling like, yeah, I have, I haven't points down and I've, I've done a lot of the hard work to put the talk together, but I can't really like set it all out loud. You know, I can tell, I can certainly tell the difference in that. And I think we've all had those examples of times where we walk off the stage and we feel like, yeah, like that was, that was why.

I was hopeful that it would be, and then times where we're like, okay, that didn't land well. Or, um, I think some of the best things that we can do too, is just in hindsight, be able to look back and say like, okay, if I did that talk again, what landed, what didn't, what could I change? And those are questions.

I think I'm always asking myself. Absolutely. And when you, when you practice out loud, you hear things differently. Um, I, I, many times I will catch mistakes just by reading something out loud. Now I would never tell anyone to memorize their speech because I don't think that's helpful, but I tell my clients to practice at least 10 times for B from beginning to end, I do that myself.

I will not ask anyone to do something that I don't do myself, but. It just really helps you just be in the moment when you practiced, you can then now add the flowery stuff, like your personality, and then you can ease into it because you practice it and already know what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good.

Okay. So you have something that you talk about. That's called the six steps towards persuasive presentations. I think this is really good because. We think like, oh, I'm going to put together this really impressive talk, but we don't know how to, we don't know how to move people to action. We don't know how to persuade someone or whatever that is.

So will you talk about that a little bit? Absolutely. Yes. It's actually a framework that I teach inside my speaks of scale academy. And this was, uh, something that I learned as a speaker just a few years ago, because one thing that I was good at, I was very good at being engaging and entertaining, but I was having a hard time converting or moving people into a decision making or taking action.

And especially, I feel like, well, I think even in motivational speaking or in any kind of speaking, you do want to be able to compel people, right. You're making a case for something and you want to compel them to take action on what you're talking about. Right. But especially in business, right? If you are speaking for conversion, you, you want to be able to structure your presentation in a way that's persuasive.

And what I found. Was it, I was very good at getting the claps and the people saying, oh, that was amazing. That was an amazing speech, but I was not getting the conversion that I, I was looking for. And so I learned basically how to structure my presentation in a way that moved people into action taking.

So the six pieces that, um, that I teach is basically the first one is to know your audience. So you, the more you can hone in on. Their language and you're speaking to their language, you're speaking to their pain points and their struggles, and you're speaking to their dreams and desired results. Um, and you're offering solutions to them.

The more, you're going to be able to connect with your audience and compel them than to listen to you. Right. Um, the second thing is to know your objective. What is that big idea that you want people to walk away with? Because according to research, 73% of the people that walk out of a presentation, like literally after their, the presentation is done, have no clue.

If you ask them what the presentation of it was about, they would not be able to tell you in one sentence, So they, they don't know. So having a really clear objective of what that idea or that takeaway. And that you want people to have is crucial. And I tell my students that you want to make the, your big idea kind of the solution to their problem.

Right. Um, then, um, the third thing would be to have a, which is kind of like more of the structure of your presentation is to have a strong opening, um, have an engaging middle and then. Punchy finale. Now, again, this is something that, um, I teach the framework that I teach in speak to scale academy. It's called the seller signature talk roadmap, but it's basically, um, having what needs to be in the opening.

Um, what needs to be in the middle, which is kind of like the content piece of your presentation. And then how do you need to wrap it up in order to again, um, call people to action, right? The right way. Um, then, um, the fourth piece would be to use stories, but not just stories, use them strategically and, um, to pair them with the points that you're making and also with data, so that you're speaking both to the left and right brain.

Um, then the fifth piece is to move people into action and towards making a decision. And again, you, you do that, um, by using words and the way you set up your presentation and then the fi the final piece is to really have your personality shine through your presentation. Because I think sometimes even, especially in professional settings or when you're doing a business presentation and my husband can attest to this because he's in the medical field and he said, People really need you in the medical field, because when you're doing a presentation, they make the presentation is so data saturated, right?

Because it's important for, for medical presentations, but unfortunately they missed the stories and they miss adding their personality and their flare. And that's actually, what's going to make people listen, right. And connect with you as the presenter and as a speaker. And so, um, I always see, you got to add your personality to it.

Um, so that that's, what's going to make you stand out as well. So basically those are the six elements. I know I've kind of rattled them off here, but, um, that's what I would call a persuasive presentation. That's so good. Okay. And if people are like, okay, Sheila, that's amazing, but I want more say the name of your program.

One more time. Oh, speak to scale academy scale. Yes. Okay, awesome. Okay, cool. Well, you mentioned this briefly, but I want to dive into this a little bit more because I think this, this really matters. You talk a lot about developing a signature story. Why does, why does that matter and how do we use that? Um, as we continue to develop our speaking.

Yeah. Yes. I'm so glad you brought this up because I think that out of all the things that I teach, this is probably my favorite part. I am fascinated by stories and how to use stories in a business and how to use stories to really connect with your audience and tell your own why, you know, so, um, I'm going to give you actually three reasons why developing and telling a signature story is important.

Um, and why it's important to do it in business. Cause I think maybe this is somewhat of a new thing that we talk about more in business, but I don't feel like we talked about it much before. Um, and then I'm going to also, um, share how to use it briefly. Um, but the first reason why you should use stories is because, um, you know, the, the business owners that I work with, um, Started their business out of a place of, um, transformation.

Right? That's me. I started my business because of a transformation that I have gone through. Um, as I said before at the beginning of our conversation is that I was a very shy, I'm still a very introverted person and I felt very insecure. Um, I also grew up in a highly abusive home. So from a young age, Struggled to let my voice be heard or to even think that my voice mattered.

And so for years I struggled with speaking, even in front of a small group of people, I was really intimidated, but I also was fascinated with communication and I specifically was fascinated with great communicators. And so I was studying them. Long story short, my business was born out of the personal transformation that I went through, uh, from being a fearful speaker to becoming a confident speaker.

And so most of the coaches or experts or consultants or anybody really, I mean, if you think of authors or a speaker. Anybody really it, usually our work comes out of a place of transformation, I would say. Um, and you know, that story, that transformational story needs to be told your audience or potential clients or even peers and other leaders need to hear that story in order to understand your why.

Where you're coming from, why are you doing what you're doing? And once they understand your why, I think that's where really trust can start developing. So that's the first reason why people just really need to understand you before they can trust you, or before they even care about what you do, right.

Or why you do it. Um, the second reason is because as we all know, stories are a really big part of not only. Our daily lives. Right? I mean, um, I was just reading the other day that back in 2019, the global box office was worth 24 billion that's with a B um, that's how much they were worth. And that's not even including the home entertainment, right?

Like Hulu and Amazon prime and all of those things. Uh, I think the total for everything was like $136 billion. So. Obviously there's a demand, right? For stories, we are suckers for stories. Um, so, so not only it's big part of our lives, our daily lives. And, uh, but it's also a part of the journey. Uh, as humans, right?

So back in the day when we didn't have TVs or radio or internet, um, people sat around the fire telling stories. That's also how traditions and information was passed down from generation to generation. And so it's not. Only that it's part of our nature. It's also part of our nurture we're nurtured through stories.

Right. Um, so that's the second reason why it's important to, to develop your signature story. The third. Why is that finally, is that it's especially important for business owners and entrepreneurs. Um, and here's the reason why our brains need stories. As I said before, we know that the left brain, right, the left side of our brain is the logical analytical and, uh, verbal side.

And then the right side is the conceptual, the intuitive right. Visual side. And when it comes to decision-making while we would like to think that we make decisions based on logic, we actually use both sides of our brain, meaning the logical side, um, and also the intellectual side. And when it comes down to the precise point of decision-making, we're actually mainly driven by emotion.

Yeah. And then we use the logical side to justify or support with fact or data, our, our decision. Right. So, um, that's why, you know, storytelling triggers both, both right and left side. And so story stories help categorize basically, or file away data, uh, in a meaningful way. It also. Makes sense in, um, in the noise, right?

In the noise of data, it just makes sense of it. So it really not only helps us connect emotionally with the story, but it also helps us connect them emotionally with the storyteller. And then it also, um, drives our decision. So, so those are basically the three whys of why we should, um, have a signature story.

And then, um, the way that we use it, basically my rule of thumb, and obviously I cannot go into much detail, but, uh, because of time. My rule of thumb is that you want to have a signature story, um, that relates to whatever you're teaching on and whatever you're teaching is obviously relates to your business, um, or, you know, um, whatever you're presenting on, but you want to make sure that you tell your signature story.

Kind of like in the opening part of your speech, because that's, what's going to set the scene and that's also, what's gonna, um, establish a report at the same time. So, uh, again, in the speak to scale academy, I have a framework that I teach on what makes for a winning story. What, what makes for us a stellar signature story?

Awesome. That's so good. I know that was again, along with the test. No, I love it. I was hoping that would be that's so good. And I think we all have those stories that we can really, um, when we think about the topics that we speak on or want to speak on, there certainly places in our own personal story that we can pull those from because.

Most times, at least for me, I know in book writing I, everything that I dream about writing all of the books that I have in a word doc that nobody's ever going to see that I hope and dream I'll be able to write one day. All of those things come from my previous one. And things got that. I've now become passionate about teaching others.

And so I think we all have those, uh, those examples in our lives. And I think it's important to draw those out and really discern with guide. Like what are the stories that you want me to tell? Yeah. I love that. I love that so much. Okay. Before we go over to our Patrion audience, what I want you to do Sheila is share a little bit more about, um, where, where people can find you.

You've talked a little bit about the work that you do, but you've created a course. There are several things that, you know, you have got your hands in right now. So I'd love for you to share with people can find everything that you're doing. Yes. Thank you. Um, so I usually on social media, I hang out on Instagram.

My handle is speak to that's the number two, speak to scale. That's my handle. And, um, that's where I show up probably daily on, uh, on the regular. I would love to connect with anybody on Instagram or any other social media platform, really. Um, but yeah, what, what, uh, I told you is that I do have the speak to scale academy, which is, uh, actually kind of like my signature program.

That's it's um, More of a course slash membership, but right now we don't have the doors open for that probably for an, for another three to four weeks. But what I'm excited about, I actually partnered up with a common friend of ours, Janae, and, uh, she and I are doing a mini workshop. And it's called strategic speaker workshop, as you can.

You probably heard, I probably said the word strategic many, many times throughout the interview. Um, it's, I guess it's one of my key words, but I, I really do love being strategic and, um, it really, the mini workshop came out of, uh, just listening to my audience. A lot of the people that I've worked with say, you know, I'm really great at getting a booking myself for podcasts, interviews, getting myself on stages.

But I feel like I'm not getting the conversion again that I'm looking for. And so, um, we came up with the idea of doing a workshop, strategic speaker workshop, how to use speaking as your lead generating superpower. And so we're basically teaching people how to show up with a strategy that gets people on their email list or gets them somehow in their community.

Um, and so we have a great group of people who have signed up and we're delivering the workshop live, but we're turning it into an actual course. And so it's going to be available@strategicspeakerworkshop.com. But basically those are the things that we have going on. And so, um, I'm very excited about this.

Yeah. That's awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Well, I have loved this conversation. I know that my people will as well. I'm so grateful for your time and we are now going to hop over to our Patrion audience to do a little bonus round with Sheila that I'm really excited about. But for now, I just want to say a big thank you for your time.

Yeah, Rebecca, thanks so much for having me. I mean, this was, this was so much fun and what an honor.