Episode 273. Speaking the Language of Love: Learning to Love in Different Ways with Dr. Gary Chapman
Looking to improve your relationship with your spouse or loved one? Then tune in to the latest episode of the Radical Radiance podcast with host Rebecca George and special guest Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the bestselling book "The Five Love Languages." In this episode, the duo discusses the importance of showing love through actions and offers tips on how to communicate with your loved one in their preferred love language. From quality time to acts of service, discover how you can enrich your relationships and bring more love into your life. Don't miss out on this insightful and informative episode with Dr. Chapman, available now on Radical Radiance.
Dr. Gary Chapman is a bestselling author and marriage counselor known for his book, "The Five Love Languages." The book has been read by countless people around the world, with many citing it as saving their marriage. It has been translated into over 50 languages and despite its long-standing success, Dr. Chapman humbly attributes his book's popularity to God's hand in it all. Rebecca and Gary chat about:
Understanding the five love languages and how they can improve your relationships
Anecdotes and stories of how speaking someone's love language has helped to save marriages and improve relationships
The power of choosing to love others, even in difficult circumstances
How interruptions in our lives can actually be opportunities to show love to others
The importance of focusing on solutions together as a team in relationships
Personal struggles in relationships and how Gary was able to overcome them with the help of God and a change in attitude towards his wife
How the book "The Five Love Languages" has become an international bestseller and how it has helped enrich relationships
Strategies for learning to speak and understand different love languages
Order Love is a Choice on Amazon
TRANSCRIPT
Rebecca George:
Dr. Gary Chapman, I cannot tell you how excited I am to have you on the show today. And I told you this before we hit record, but your work has had such a profound impact on my life and in my marriage, and it just feels so exciting to get to have a conversation with you. And so I just wanna first welcome you to the show. So, I'm gonna start with you. I'm gonna start with you. I'm gonna start with you. I'm gonna start with you. I'm gonna start with you.
Gary Chapman:
Well, thank you, Rebecca. It's great to be with you today.
Rebecca George:
I'm excited. Well, you are releasing a new book called Love is a Choice that we get to talk about here in a minute. And I'm super excited about that. I got my own copy a few days ago and it's been fun to read that read through that myself. But as we get going, I know so many of our listeners and so many of our friends will have known you for the Five Love Languages book that has had such an impact on my life and over 20 million other readers, which is incredible. And so I wonder as you look back over just God's faithfulness in that project, how he's used it, what are you the most thankful for? What have you seen God do? I just would love to start there.
Gary Chapman:
You know Rebecca, the main thing I think is just the numbers of people that have read the book and their marriage has been enriched because
Rebecca George:
Hmm.
Gary Chapman:
they read the book. In fact, when I do marriage conferences on Saturdays around the country, I will always have people come up and say, we just want to share with you. That book, The Five Love Languages, literally saved our marriage.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
We were feeling like it wasn't going to work. We had tried everything. that book and it's like the lights came on and we realized how we missed each other emotionally and we took the quiz discovered each other's love language started speaking it and it literally saved our marriage.
Rebecca George:
See ya.
Gary Chapman:
So that's been so so encouraging. The other thing that really has encouraged me is that the book is now published in over 50 languages around the world.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
You know my background academically before I studied counseling was cultural anthropology. I did an the study of cultures.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
So I'm sensitive to cultural differences. I really was shocked when the Spanish publisher came first and I
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
said, I don't know, does this work in Spanish? And they said, well, we've read it and we want to publish it. So they did and it became their bestseller and it's been their
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
bestseller through the years and then it went to all the other cultures. Which says to me that it speaks to the basic human need to feel
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
loved by the significant people in your life and so I think because it's helped people meet that need and they've just shared it with their friends and their brother and his wife and their sister her husband it's just gone all over the world so yeah and and God's behind it all I mean
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
people ask me how to explain that it's been out now 30 years and every year it sells more than the year before that doesn't
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
happen and I just say well the short answer is God
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
and the long answer is God Ha ha
Rebecca George:
I
Gary Chapman:
ha
Rebecca George:
love
Gary Chapman:
ha ha
Rebecca George:
that. I love that. Well, it, it very much is one of those messages that just stands the test of time, right? Because those innate desires in us to be and feel loved in a certain way. Uh, man, I just, I think it's such helpful language. I can remember when me and my husband started dating and we started having that conversation of, okay, here's maybe where we're missing each other. I'm trying to love you in this particular way and that's, you know, all well and good until I realize, oh wait, she actually doesn't see that because that's not the way she wants to be loved. And so I remember it being just such a powerful conversation for us and I know just so many, I've had, I can't tell you the number of conversations I've had across my life where, whether it was a friendship or within my own marriage or struggle with another friend in their own marriage, it comes back so many times to love languages and
Gary Chapman:
Thank you.
Rebecca George:
that's thanks to you. And so it's just such a gift.
Gary Chapman:
Well, I think, you know, the very fact that it does address that need to feel loved. And that's true whether you're married, whether you're single, whether you're a child, whether you're an adult. We all have the basic need to feel loved by the significant people in our lives. And understanding the love language concept really helps you to do that effectively.
Rebecca George:
Yeah, I agree. Well, I am so excited about this new project that you're releasing called Love is a Choice. And I would love to just hear a little bit of your heart for it, how it's different from some of the other books that you've written. Would you tell us a little bit about it?
Gary Chapman:
Yeah, well, it's radically different from the other books I've written because in the other books, I did all the writing. In this book, it's a collection of stories that people wrote themselves
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
about their experience in loving other people. Some of them are stories about marriage, but some of them are stories about other relationships.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
And so, kind of covers the gamut in terms of different types of stories, but all of them emphasizing the power of choosing to love. I use the word choice. Love is a choice.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
You know in our culture we have exalted the emotional aspect of love and we talk about falling in love and how high and wonderful that is. But you know no one told me before I got married that we come down off the high.
Rebecca George:
It's true.
Gary Chapman:
I was always told if you've got the real thing it's gonna last forever. Well that wasn't true. We came down off the high lose those positive feelings but I had negative feelings toward her because she wasn't doing what I wanted her to do.
Rebecca George:
Yeah. Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
So yeah my wife and I struggled early in our marriage and that's maybe one reason why I have such empathy for people who
Rebecca George:
you
Gary Chapman:
sit in my office and say well we just feel like there's no hope we don't have any feelings for each other anymore we have negative feelings and I remember when I had that you know those
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
same feelings but you know in the Bible love and then appropriate behavior. It doesn't start with emotions. So you know when you get that concept that the attitude of love is I want to do whatever I can to enrich your life.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
You know whether it's my wife or my children or whether it's a friend or whether somebody I just encountered today. Love is the attitude that says I want to enrich the lives of other people. I want to be God's representative for sharing His love with people.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
And so it starts with that what the love language does, it gives you information on how to communicate love to the other person so that it does meet that emotional need for love because we are emotional creatures. I mean, I'm not against emotions.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
We are emotional
Rebecca George:
Sure.
Gary Chapman:
creatures. So you know, that's been very, very encouraging. And I think this new book, my hope is it's going to help people. And I think it's single adults can read it, you know, married adults can read it. Even older teenagers can read these stories. and certainly young adults. Because they are so varied and different in topics, I
Rebecca George:
Sure.
Gary Chapman:
think anybody's going to be able to say, oh man, isn't that neat? In fact, there's a couple of those stories, I read them and tears came to my eyes.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
I was just so moved by what this person had written about the power of love.
Rebecca George:
Hmm, that's so good. I wonder as you reflect on the book Was there a story or a particular? Route where maybe this was put into action and you saw that in a story and you thought Wow, I'm so thankful God used it in that way. Is there one that stands out to you?
Gary Chapman:
Yeah, one is this lady who was retired. She and her husband were retired. She worked in the public library. And they had no children, had never had children. And one morning she was out in the yard working and this little girl came through the bushes from the house next door and said, "'Will you play with me?' And she said, I turned to her, she looked like four or five years old, and she said, "'Well, honey, I'm busy.' And she said, "'I'm Lily, can we play?'
Rebecca George:
Oh!
Gary Chapman:
And she said, I was so moved by it, I just took my gloves off and said, okay, what do you want to play? She said, I want to play house. And I want you to be the child and me to be the mother.
Rebecca George:
Oh, that's so precious.
Gary Chapman:
So she interfaced with her, you know, for a good long while. And then she said, okay, honey, now I have to go back to work and let you run home. Okay. And she thought, you know, that's that. But the next day, the same little girl
Rebecca George:
Lily
Gary Chapman:
knocked
Rebecca George:
was back.
Gary Chapman:
on her back door. Lily was back and she knocked on the door. And she went, I went to the door. She said, What are you doing?" And she said, I'm cooking. And she said, Can I help you? And she said, No, honey, you better go home and help your mother. And she said, My mother's not home. And I said, Well, who's keeping you? She said, The babysitter. And she said, Well, she told me to go out and play. So can I help you? So she said, I let her in and I let her stir some things, you know, she said. And she said, That was the beginning of what became a 21 year relationship with
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
that young And she said, I just realized, you know, what I thought was an interruption was really an opportunity. And she said, even after she went off to college, when she would come home, she would come to visit me. And we'd sit on the swing and talk about life together. And she said, she really became the daughter that I never had.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
And she said, if I had not allowed, you know, that interruption to show me that it's an opportunity to love this young girl, and what the language speaking was quality time.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
She was giving this kid her undivided attention and the
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
kid of course craved it and so it was that choice to allow an interruption to become an act of love and I think
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
many of us miss opportunities to love because we feel like you know it's an interruption. Somebody
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
says something to us or ask us a question and we just try to get rid of it as quickly as we can and move on to our business you know rather than realizing if God brought that person to my life, and they're made in God's image. Maybe God wants me to show them love in some way. And it may not become a 21-year
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
investment, but it may just be a one-time investment. But
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
interruptions are often opportunities to express love to people. To me, it was just a powerful story.
Rebecca George:
Yeah, that is extremely powerful. And as you're talking through it, I'm thinking about our culture and how short our attention spans are and how busy we all are. And I wonder if quality time isn't something that we all struggle with in this moment in time that we find ourselves in because of all of those reasons, right?
Gary Chapman:
Yeah, I think it is a struggle, particularly
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
for people for whom this is not their language.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
Now, for those for whom quality time is their primary language, I mean, they like nothing better
Rebecca George:
Sure.
Gary Chapman:
than sitting down and talking with somebody, you know, and interfacing with somebody. But if this is not your language and you're an acts of service person, you just always want to be doing something, doing something. And that's wonderful to be doing something, especially if you're doing it for other people. But if that's not their language, I mean, they appreciate what you did. speak deeply to them emotionally.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
So yeah, I think anytime that the other person's primary love language, that is the one that's most important for them, is the one that's least important for you. It's a learning curve.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
You know, it's really a learning curve. But here's the good news. You can learn to speak any of these languages even if you did not receive them as a child. And many of us did not receive some of these languages. So
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
it's new to us. It's not natural to us. We have to learn how to speak the languages.
Rebecca George:
Yeah, there's a chapter in the book that talks about, I think it's called Opposites Attract, then what? Where
Gary Chapman:
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca George:
a married couple, I believe, came and realized that they had differing love languages and wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if we married someone who spoke our exact love language? Well, there would be no need for your book
Gary Chapman:
Hehehehe...
Rebecca George:
and we would just
Gary Chapman:
Hehehehehe...
Rebecca George:
all understand
Gary Chapman:
Hehehehe...
Rebecca George:
each other, right? And I know even in my own marriage, was absolutely the case. We were just loving each other differently. And
Gary Chapman:
Thank you.
Rebecca George:
there's so much power in discovering that. And so could you talk a little bit about maybe the inner workings of how naming it just is so helpful? And if somebody is coming to this conversation thinking, okay, that is me, Gary, that is me, Rebecca. Me and my husband speak totally different languages. Where do they start?
Gary Chapman:
Yeah, well I think, you know, we seldom have the same love language, a husband and wife.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
It does happen, but even if we have the same language, we will likely have a different dialect
Rebecca George:
Okay.
Gary Chapman:
that is a different way of expressing. For example, a lady said to me some time ago, she said, Gary, my husband and I have the same love language. I said, wonderful, what is it? She said, acts of service. But she said, the things I want him to do for me that make me feel loved are different from the things he wants me to do to make him feel loved. dialects. So and I don't think you know, before you get married, these things are attractive. You know,
Rebecca George:
Mm-hmm.
Gary Chapman:
you say you're dating a girl and she's real active and outgoing, you know, just talking to everybody and you just, you can just kind of relax with her, you know, and and then after you get married, you know, if your language is like is, let's say quantity time, and she's talking to everybody else, you know, she's the life of the party and you just stand over in the corner. So that particular story was a great story.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
And she said it all erupted after the wedding. We got in the car, we had a driver, and he was driving us to the reception. And he took the scenic route. And she said, I got upset thinking,
Rebecca George:
Oh.
Gary Chapman:
the people are going to all be there waiting for us. We're going to be inconveniencing them. And my husband was, honey, calm down. We'll get there. You know.
Rebecca George:
Yup.
Gary Chapman:
And all in all alone, it's not just love languages. We're different in a many, many, many ways.
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
And we have to adjust to that. You know, for example, when we got married, I had these visions. I'm a morning person, okay?
Rebecca George:
Okay.
Gary Chapman:
And I'm awake and alive in the morning early. And I had this vision that we were going to have every morning, we were going to have breakfast together, we were going to have
Rebecca George:
Oh yeah.
Gary Chapman:
a quiet time together, and we were going to pray together, you know. We got married. I found out my wife didn't wake up till 10. up but she didn't wake up you know so I had to recognize that's not gonna happen if we're gonna have any time like this got to be sometime other than early in the morning yeah and I think that's the key differences are fine look we we bring different strengths and different interests and all and different ways of doing things and we're on the same team
Rebecca George:
That's right.
Gary Chapman:
so let's let's learn to accept some of those realities that we are different in this way how can we use those to the benefit, you
Rebecca George:
you
Gary Chapman:
know, our benefit? Because we want to be winners. We don't want to win an argument. If we win the argument, our spouse lost.
Rebecca George:
That's
Gary Chapman:
It's no
Rebecca George:
right.
Gary Chapman:
fun to live with a loser. So why would you create a loser, you know?
Rebecca George:
That's right.
Gary Chapman:
So it's learning how to, yeah, change some things, if you can, to please the other person, but other things we just have to accept that
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
that's who they are, they're not gonna change radically. And so let's just learn how to utilize the positive parts of these things.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
It takes some time, but it also takes an attitude
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
that we are going to work through these differences and we're going to find answers and we're going to learn to work together as a team as we process life together.
Rebecca George:
Yeah, as you're talking, I just keep coming back to it really requires a heart of selflessness to exercise learning how to love your spouse in their love language and in the dialect of their love language, right? I think
Gary Chapman:
deal.
Rebecca George:
at the root of it for me, at least in my own marriage, that has been the key is the moments where I choose to be selfless and realize, okay,
Gary Chapman:
Thank you.
Rebecca George:
this is how he desires to be loved.
Gary Chapman:
You know, what radically changed my marriage was one day when I said to God, I don't know what else to do.
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
I've done everything I know to do and it's not working. And as soon as I said that, there came to my mind a visual image of Jesus on his knees, washing the feet of his disciples.
Rebecca George:
Wow, yeah.
Gary Chapman:
And I heard God say to me, that's the problem with your marriage. You do not have the attitude of Christ toward your wife. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Because I remember what Jesus said when he stood up. He said, you call me teacher and Lord, and you're right, but in my kingdom the leader serves. And I knew that was not my attitude. You know, my attitude was something like, look, we can have a good marriage if you'd listen to me. You know?
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
And I said, Lord, forgive me. With all of my, I was in seminary, studying to be a pastor. I said, with all of my study of theology, I've missed
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
the whole point. I said, please give me the attitude of. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. In retrospect, it's the greatest prayer I ever prayed about my marriage because
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
God changed my heart. And I started asking her three questions, simple questions. When I was willing to ask these questions, my marriage began to change. First question was, honey, what can I do to help you?
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
Second question, how can I make your life easier?
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
Third question, how can I be a better husband?
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
And when I was willing to ask those questions, she was willing to tell me.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
And I started doing those things. And it didn't change overnight,
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
but within three months,
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
within three months, she started asking me those three questions.
Rebecca George:
Wow.
Gary Chapman:
What can I do to help you? How can I help make your life easier? How can I be a better wife?
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
So you know, we've been walking this road a long time now, and I've got a great wife. I told her the other day, I said, you know honey, if every woman in the world was like you, there'd never be a divorce.
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
Why would a man leave a woman who's doing everything she can to help him?
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
And my goal has been to so serve her, and when I'm gone, she'll never find another man to treat her the way I've treated her.
Rebecca George:
Oh, that is so precious. Oh, that is so precious.
Gary Chapman:
But you're right. It's an attitude of service.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
In fact, in Philippians it says, this attitude being you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who though he was God, he emptied himself and became a man. And when he got on a level ground with us, he stepped down further to death on our own. cross let this attitude be in you. So yeah it's the it's this that attitude you can understand the love language concept and still choose not to do it.
Rebecca George:
That's
Gary Chapman:
I mean
Rebecca George:
right.
Gary Chapman:
I had a man tell me he said, Doc Chairman I read your book my wife and I read it and we took the quiz and her love language is acts of service but I'm going to tell you and her if it's going to take my washing dishes and my vacuuming floors for her to feel love she can forget that.
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
I said well that's your
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
choice.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
If you choose to live with a wife who has what I call an empty love tank, that is she doesn't feel loved by her husband, if you choose to live with a wife like that, that's your choice. I said I much prefer to live with a wife who has a full love tank.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
I said my wife's language is acts of service and I do wash dishes and vacuum floors and clean toilets and take out the trash and she tells me I'm the greatest husband in the world. So you know.
Rebecca George:
Yeah, and it probably makes her feel the same way you feel when she loves you in your preferred love language. So
Gary Chapman:
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,
Rebecca George:
yeah,
Gary Chapman:
absolutely.
Rebecca George:
oh, that's such an important thing, I think, to bring to the conversation. So thank you for sharing that. And as I just skimmed the table of contents before I was really digging into the book, there was a chapter that stood out to me. And it will probably stand out to a lot of people because we all, if we're honest, probably and it's loving your enemies. You dedicate a whole chapter to a story about this and I'm thinking of maybe the listener coming to the conversation today, really struggling in that area. How would you want to encourage them?
Gary Chapman:
Well, it's one of the most powerful things we can do is to love a spouse who's not loving us.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
You know, in that sense, they're our enemy. And that story is powerful. You know, she said before we got married, man, he was the life of the party. He was a humorous guy. I just loved being with him. And we got married and shortly after he started drinking, and then he just became a monster. And she said we, you know, we were just about to give up on things, but we said, no, we got to make this work. So he stopped drinking and we started changing things. Things got better, you know for a while and then he got a disease muscular Distributor sometimes before it was exactly but and she said then he started drinking again And she said any was just angry with me about everything
Rebecca George:
Mm.
Gary Chapman:
and she said a friend gave me a Bible And I started reading the Bible and then that friend invited me to a Bible study And I became a Christian gave
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
my life to Christ and one morning. I was reading where Jesus said love your enemies Do good to those that hate you? And I just heard she said I heard God say that's the plan
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
You do it and see what happens. She said so I started giving him words of affirmation I started giving him acts of service and she said it took a little while But he stopped drinking and then he returned to being a humorous person He returned, you know to being positive in marriage relationship And and she said so we had a great life for 30 some years before
Rebecca George:
Wow. Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
the disease finally took him So
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
she said the disease won in terms of taking but love one in terms
Rebecca George:
you
Gary Chapman:
of giving us a good marriage over those years. And you know, we can't guarantee that if you choose an attitude of love towards someone that's not loving you, we can't guarantee that they will turn around.
Rebecca George:
Sure.
Gary Chapman:
But we do know that the Bible says we love God because God first loved us.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
You know, we just reciprocated. So if you be God's instrument, in Romans 5, verse 5 says the love of God is poured in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. So you don't have to have positive feelings You just say, Lord, you know how I feel. You know how hurt I am. But I know that they're made in your image and you love them.
Rebecca George:
That's right.
Gary Chapman:
So I'm willing to be your agent. If you pour your love into me,
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
I'll be your agent for loving them. And you move out to speak their language in his power. And I can tell you this, many, many times I've seen that person turn around. It might take two months, three months, four months, six months
Rebecca George:
Sure.
Gary Chapman:
of unconditional love in the right love language before they turn around. But many times they will. They will turn around. We'll start.
Rebecca George:
Sure, that's incredible. I love that. Well, before we go, there is a question that I ask every guest that comes on the Radical Radiance podcast. And I'm excited to ask you, as I was asking God to sort of give me direction and where I needed to take the podcast, He kept bringing me back to this verse in Psalm 34, it's verse five, and it says, "'Those who look to Him are radiant, "'and their faces shall never be covered in shame.'" And so the question I love asking is what about Jesus makes you radiant.
Gary Chapman:
You don't think it's an awareness that the God of the universe... is willing for me to sit down.
Rebecca George:
Mmm.
Gary Chapman:
and listen to it and have a conversation with it. You read the Bible and God's talking and then we respond to whatever he's saying.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
So every morning when I sit down after I've read the passage in the scripture and underlined some things and talked to God about them, I say, now Lord I just want to sit here and enjoy.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
Sometimes I just sit there in silence. And sometimes I talk to God. But when we have that kind of relationship with God, we're really doing what the disciples do. We're hanging out with God. They hung out with Jesus.
Rebecca George:
Yeah.
Gary Chapman:
We hang out with God. And when we do, His Spirit is in control of our lives. And then when we move out to face the day, we are gonna do things as His representatives that are going to enrich the lives of other people.
Rebecca George:
you
Gary Chapman:
And life's deepest satisfaction is found in loving others. And when we do it, we are touching lives, lives are being changed, and hopefully they're going to come to Christ, and we're going to spend eternity together. So, yeah,
Rebecca George:
That's
Gary Chapman:
that's
Rebecca George:
beautiful.
Gary Chapman:
the heart of the Christian life.
Rebecca George:
I love that. I love that. Well, tell everyone where can they find you? Where can they grab all of the amazing books that you've written? I know that they will be excited to get love as a choice. And so just tell us where they can connect with you after this conversation.
Gary Chapman:
Well, they can always go to Amazon, of course.
Rebecca George:
Of
Gary Chapman:
They
Rebecca George:
course.
Gary Chapman:
have most of my books there. But you can also go to 5lovelanguages.com,
Rebecca George:
Okay.
Gary Chapman:
the number 5, 5lovelanguages.com. And there they can get a little blurb of all of my books. They can actually order them there from the publisher if they would like. And they can also find out where I'm going to be speaking around the country. They can sign up to get an email from me every week. So a lot of good stuff there. So yeah, I think they camp out there a little while. and helpful things.
Rebecca George:
Perfect. Awesome. Well, I said this at the beginning, but I'll say it again. I can't tell you what an honor it is to get to sit down with you and talk about love languages. And it is just such a gift after the impact it's had in my life. And I know so many of the lives of my listeners. And so thank you from all of us for your work on this project. And we're excited to read Love is a Choice and excited to cheer you on as you launch it into the world. So thanks for being my guest today.
Gary Chapman:
Well, thank you, DeBecca. It's great to be with you and keep up the good work of trying to help others.
Rebecca George:
Thank you.
