Episode 188. Lies Women Tell Themselves with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
[rebecca_george]: Doctor Sundra, I am so thrilled to be joined by you today on the show. Thank
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[rebecca_george]: you so much for being my guest.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Thank you, Rebecca for having me.
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[rebecca_george]: I know this is going to be fun. I have. I feel like we've ran in similar
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[rebecca_george]: circles for Ah, but it's exciting to get to have some face time and chat for
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[rebecca_george]: for the first time, which is really fun. So I love when people get to hear
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[rebecca_george]: the beginning of like in real life friendship, so that I feel like this is
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[rebecca_george]: what's happening. So this is fun and I am excited to talk about the lies
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[rebecca_george]: that tend to cripple us as women. This is something that you are super
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[rebecca_george]: passionate about and you've written a lot about. you, speak a lot about. And
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[rebecca_george]: so I would love as we get started for you to just share. Why is this work?
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[rebecca_george]: Uh, in the lives of women particularly so important to you,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Well, I feel like this is my own personal journey. This is what
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I've seen myself have to work through and
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[rebecca_george]: M.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: battle through at times and I, I see it so often in others. I find
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that oftentimes these seven areas in particular that I discuss,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: happen to be the ones that keep us from living out God'sfulness in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: our lives that keep us in this kind of hel back, sheltered in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: place, which is not really what God wants us. He doesn't want us to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: feel as if we're confined, but to fi the freedom to fully be who
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: he's created us to be. And
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[rebecca_george]: Yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: so that's what I feel like these lights do. and most of them are
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: just that their lives the truth, not something that's grounded in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: scripture or fact things we've told ourselves and that we're
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: basically limiting ourselves with these things that we are thinking
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and saying.
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, and one of the things that you talk about that I want to dig into and
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[rebecca_george]: it's a term that some of us have probably heard, but I'd love to unpack it a
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[rebecca_george]: little more. is this idea of a limiting belief? I think
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Mhm.
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[rebecca_george]: we. We've many of us probably heard of that, but maybe we've not done the
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[rebecca_george]: hard hard work of actually digging to what are those in our lives? How do we
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[rebecca_george]: overcome those? so let's me start real high level with what is a limiting
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[rebecca_george]: belie. And then what might be some examples of how that plays out in our
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[rebecca_george]: lives?
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yes, so a limiting belief is a thought that you have accepted as
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: truth for you, because really the only truth that is effective and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: active in your life is the one that you believe. And so if you
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: believe that you know it's marriage is hard, then you're going to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: approach it in such a way. You're going to always be approaching it
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: from this negative kind. of. This is going to be very difficult
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: mindset. And so what I find is when we have these limiting type
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: beliefs, we start building out that world, because that is our
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: expectation, and we don't allow any grace. We don't allow God to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: kind of infuse his presence. We don't allow the truth of what the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: word of God says to be active in our lives because we are
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: functioning not under that Biblical precept,
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[rebecca_george]: Yeah,
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, so what? my? What might be? a couple other than marriages hard? let's
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[rebecca_george]: let's give a couple more examples of what that might look like in our lives
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[rebecca_george]: that you see, maybe often.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: uh, the one I see very often is, Um, I'm always going to be
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: struggling with money. I, I can't tell you how many people I here
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: say things like that like money's always hard to come by. It's very
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: difficult to hold on to many, and these very same people will find
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that their life kind of reflects exactly what they're saying, or
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: they'll say
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[rebecca_george]: Yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: things like, Um, My kids never do are never. Um, are never doing as
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: good as other people's kids. They're They're creating these these
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: worlds, really with their words, and in their way of abing and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: thinking about things in such a way that they are functioning under
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that belief. Um, I sometimes see women say, I'm you know, I'm never
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: going to be good enough to do that or I could, or the the one I
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: hear most often I could. never,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: As if they don't have the potential for growth or they don't have
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the potential to to expand. You know, the scripture says we grow
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: from glory to glory, so there's
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: never a time when you're looking at someone else's life, and you'
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: thinking I never be able to cause you' are basically saying, I
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: don't have the capacity to grow or to learn or to expand.
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[rebecca_george]: mm. That's good. okay, I have a theory that I want to talk about this and
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[rebecca_george]: this is completely offscript, so it goes back to
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[rebecca_george]: a conversation I had with one of my best friends a couple of years ago. We
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[rebecca_george]: at, We, both, at that time did not have children. Sh, they have since then
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[rebecca_george]: had their first child, my friend and her husband. My husband and I have only
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[rebecca_george]: been married a couple of years, so we do not have children yet, but we were
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[rebecca_george]: on a walk one day, and she was recounting this conversation she had had with
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[rebecca_george]: one of her mentors where
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[rebecca_george]: her mentor had realized that every time her mentor talked about motherhood
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[rebecca_george]: with my friend,
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[rebecca_george]: she was catching herself talking about it from a negative perspective and
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[rebecca_george]: talking about all the hardships of of motherhood. And she came to my friend
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[rebecca_george]: Becca, and she said be, I, I'm realizing that I
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[rebecca_george]: am probably giving you a little bit of some false expectations
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[rebecca_george]: about.
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[rebecca_george]: Yes, motherhood is hard,
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[rebecca_george]: but I don't feel like I've shared enough of the joys of it with you. And so
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[rebecca_george]: I'm repenting of that and I want to do better, and Beca came to me and she
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[rebecca_george]: was just processing it with me and she said I, I just thought that was the
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[rebecca_george]: most kind thing a friend could do is realize like I'm not telling you the
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[rebecca_george]: full story, and actually it's a lot better than what I've told you, and so
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[rebecca_george]: specific to motherhood. we have a lot of women listening who were in that
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[rebecca_george]: space where maybe they're married or they. they hoped to be married one day,
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[rebecca_george]: but do not yet have children. And I think we have sort of this epidemic
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[rebecca_george]: of kind of joking about the hardships of motherhood to the point where
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[rebecca_george]: I think a lot of women wor this for me. If it's this bad his motherod for
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[rebecca_george]: me. I'm wondering you. Do you see the same thing happening specific to
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[rebecca_george]: motherhood?
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I think these lies can really function in any area in our lives,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: particularly any area where we have a bit of uncertainty. where,
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[rebecca_george]: Yeah, yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: or a lot of uncertainty, I should say, because if you have just a
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: bit of uncertainty you will. you kind of feel like. Oh, I can still
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: kind of manage this if there's an area where there's a lot of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: uncertainty and raising children. You don't know what you're doing
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you. I mean you, are you'? Basically moving by the grace of God,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: whether you want to admit it or not. And so you, you really come
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: into that situation feeling very vulnerable and most of us fight
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: vulnerability and motherhood and parenting is a vulnerable
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: situation where you know just like your, the Your friends ment, or
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: had to admit something that she didn't do that was beneficial to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: her to her. Most parents should have that very same conversation
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: with their children because they didn't come with the man. You're
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: doing the best we can and so I think it's It's part of the P. The
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: The process With that is really. Yes, Mother mothers will
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: experience some of these different Lis and and will and mental
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: blocks and mindsets. But I think it's also just as important to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: recognize that just because you have experienced or walked within a
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: line doesn't mean you have to stay there. sometimes that walking
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: through it actually is what helps you be able to help your children
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: more. because you' able to then turn around and say you know what.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I've been functioning under a A. A mindset of perfectionism and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I've been
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: casting that off on you as well, and I'm sorry that I made you feel
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: like if you didn't get an A that you weren't good enough. Because
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: sometimes that's what we're feeling. If we didn't hit it right on
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the mark, we weren't good enough. and so we project that ont to our
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: children. So I think it's important to recognize when we have these
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: mindsets that are functioning, because typically we do pass them on
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: if we don't recognize them.
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, yeah, yeah. that's so good. Well, I, I wanted to have this
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[rebecca_george]: conversation with you because you have, like we said, you've written and
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[rebecca_george]: you've spoken a lot about this area in. and you have a book called Set free
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[rebecca_george]: to Live free, where you talk about breaking through the seven lives that you
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[rebecca_george]: see women telling themselves, And I always say this when I talk to authors.
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[rebecca_george]: I don't need to give all away all your secrets because I want people to go
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[rebecca_george]: grab your books, so that's the goal here right. But would you walk us
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[rebecca_george]: through a little bit of maybe some of these lies that we can expect? Maybe
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[rebecca_george]: you know after this conversationg, to maybe see a little more clearly in our
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[rebecca_george]: lives? How do we recognize those so that we can begin taking those steps
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[rebecca_george]: forward towards freedom?
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yeah, well, the the different areas of the seven lies just to kind
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of cover what they are. What they include include areas like
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: perfection, image, envy, control,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: balance, emotions and limits. Either are the seven,
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[rebecca_george]: Okay,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: A big areas that are covered. And the you know one of the main
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: ones, I would probably say that that I would start with To make
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: sure that most women are aware of, Is this Li based around balance,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you know, I think too often we talk about getting work life balance
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and it's something we strive for. It's something where you know
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[rebecca_george]: Mhm,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: we we talk about. you see it in all the magazines, but it's really
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: a lie because you never really want to have your life where one
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that work is on one side and your family's on the other, and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: they're like these two things that are teter tottering. When one
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: goes up, the other one goes down. I mean that's not healthy. What
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you're
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: really wanting is is a integrated work life where you are able to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: have harmony within it where
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: there's a grace and a flow where they actually move together in a
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: way that actually is harmonious. And so I think that's a huge lie.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that has many women feeling very distressed because they feel like
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: they have to make a choice. Am I going to be a mom? Am I going to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: be a entrepreneur? Am I going to be? you know, a c, e, o, or or,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: or, or home school, or whatever it is? You know? Am I going to have
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: to choose between different parts of myself When really you're able
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: to integrate some of these things so that there isn't this stress
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and pull all the time that you
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: actually can can move within the grace of God within the different
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: things he's called you to do?
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[rebecca_george]: good. okay. I'm curious, you know, as this episode
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[rebecca_george]: will be approaching the two year when the panemic world and I'm curious as
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[rebecca_george]: you talk to women as you speak to women.
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[rebecca_george]: What are you seeing as some of the effects the pandem has had
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[rebecca_george]: spefic menal health in the lives of women. That maybe impacting these lies
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[rebecca_george]: that we believe.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Well, um, the other, my one of my other books. Is called sacred
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: rest, And and there's research that I do based around rest and how
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: people experience rest and recover from burn out and stress and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: challenges. And we have an assessment that a lot of people have
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: taken. That shows me kind of how how people are responding to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: different types of challenges within their lives. And so with that
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: assessment, what we've seen just through the pandemic is that most
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: people have experienced a lot of mental rest deficits and what we
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: call sensory rest deficits, And so one of the things that we're
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: noticing particularly with women is that they have a hard time kind
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of turning off their mind when they're when they're overp
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: processcesing and when there's a lot
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[rebecca_george]: Yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of new challenges that are going on, we, we go into problem solving
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: mode and that problem solving mode sometimes keeps the brain kind
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of chronicically active and moving, and so it becomes. Difficult to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: carve, out, so to speak, time for rest because we're thinking well.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: there's so much stuff to be to be done, And what happens in the in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the meantime is they become more and more depleted, which then
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: affects your attitude and your personality, which then affects your
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: relationships, and they don't recognize. Kind of the snowball
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: effect it's having on their life simply because of this one area
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: not being maintained simply because of not recognizing the value of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: actually taking some time for themselves and pouring back into
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: themselves so that they're able to then pour from a healthier place
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: within their family and relationships.
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[rebecca_george]: that's good. That's good. Well, another place that I think is so important
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[rebecca_george]: for us to talk about
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[rebecca_george]: as it pertains to this is our friendships and people who are safe places for
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[rebecca_george]: us. That's a phrase that you use and I'd love to hear more about. What are
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[rebecca_george]: some things that you maybe look for. You Want us to look forward to figure
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[rebecca_george]: out what does it mean to be a safe place for somebody. How do we do that?
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[rebecca_george]: And how do we find that, I guess is the best way to Phse. the question.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yes, that's a great question. and it really. Both. it really is
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: based around that lie that we should hide our emotions all the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: time, and that emotions are only for for crazy women. For women who
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: can't you know, keep it together. we all have emotions. We, we all
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: have to deal and learn how to manage ourotions. But to be able to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: have a healthy place with emotions, you do need to have those
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: people in your life that you can feel. Be transparent with is
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: through that transparency that vulnerability that we actually build
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: up those sole connections and those in those deeper heart
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: relations. Now how you do that is really by having moments where
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you, you test the water, so to speak, so I never recommend go you.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you know you, you meet a group of women for the re first time.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you've never laid eyes on them. They've never laid eyes on you. You
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: don't know anything about them. their personality to just be
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: completely vulnerable and tell them everything that's about you and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: be completely transparent. You know. Typically, that does not feel
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: safe, because it oftentimes is not safe, And so what you're wanting
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: to do is test the waters, so yes, go hang out with that group of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: women's got women. be a bi. Fly on the wall for a couple of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: gatherings, you know, share a little. See what happens. evaluate
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: how they respond to other people sharing. you know, I given a this
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: example. I, I went to a women's group one time where I, you know'm
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I'm the new woman. I didn't know anybody there, and I'm sitting
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: around and listening to them talk, and you know, at a like a little
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: break when everybody was getting up to do something and get coffee.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: While you know we were ready, waiting for the person to come back
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: to start back up our session. Um, one woman went to the bathroom
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and we were sitting there, and and like the the other people in the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: group kind of leaned in and said, should we talk to her about such
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and such and such? And I' and I'm like, What in the world are you
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: talking about? He
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: said. No, what conversation we're having right now And this other
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: one goes well, Did you hear? and the second I heard just the tone
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of her voice, I was like this is not a safe place. That woman who
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: just left she thinks these people are like her are are safe place.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: so she's sharing things with them. and and they are not receiving
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: it as people who are safe to to receive that information. They're
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: receiving it as gossip. And so you want to take some time to to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: have moments where you are in Abs observation, to see if this is a
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: safe place. And when you start seeing that people that are very
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: sincere, you know the one thing that came out of that one woman was
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: like you guys. We surely really shouldn't be talking about this
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: when she's not here. We should talk about it when she's here. That
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: woman was a safe place.
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[rebecca_george]: she said, yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: She is safe. So that's the person that I invite out to coffee.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: That's
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the person that you start building a true relationship with Because
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: she has shown that she is sheep. She is known within the group and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: she's not afraid to say this isn't right. Which takes a bold,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: courageous person to say that, because often times people just kind
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of go with the group when that's not always safe. Either you want
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[rebecca_george]: yeah,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: someone who has some backbone, but also compassion. Those are the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: safe people in your life.
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, yeah, yeah, I. I have a example that I talk about when I talk about
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[rebecca_george]: this of a friend that I had when I lived in Knoxville, Tennessee, when I
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[rebecca_george]: married my husband. He's a pastor down here in South Mississippi, where we
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[rebecca_george]: live now. And so when we got married, I left big s. e C, college town life
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[rebecca_george]: to move to a town of twelve thousand people and be a pastor's wife. So you
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[rebecca_george]: can imagine the culture shock and the first year or so after we got married.
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[rebecca_george]: It was it was. I mean, I flip my life upside down. pretty much. There was
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[rebecca_george]: nothing about my life that was the same. It was a beautiful new season of
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[rebecca_george]: ministry, but it was also very hard and I have a friend that lives in
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[rebecca_george]: Knoxville, and one of the things we would do when I would come into town is
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[rebecca_george]: we would go get pizza from this one particular place that we ate all the
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[rebecca_george]: time when I lived there, And it was easy for us to go have dinner on a
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[rebecca_george]: Friday night. We would go get pizza from that place that just kind of felt
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[rebecca_george]: like home, and we would bring it back to her house and we would change in do
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[rebecca_george]: of payjamas and we would eat pizza until we were sick, and we would stay up
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[rebecca_george]: until like one a am in the morning and I. I. I could say anything in front
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[rebecca_george]: of her. Everything was safe in her living room right, And so when I think of
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[rebecca_george]: a safe place,
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[rebecca_george]: her living room eating
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[rebecca_george]: pizza from this one particular wood, wood grill or wood fired pizza place.
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[rebecca_george]: That is what I think of, and so when I think about my friendships like I
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[rebecca_george]: want to be that living room space for other people, too. you know, And so I
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[rebecca_george]: think there are so many spaces like yours. Like you, S saying In moments
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[rebecca_george]: where we have the opportunity to do that, Like to say the bold thing in a
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[rebecca_george]: group when gossip is present. Or you know, we could name many other
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[rebecca_george]: instances where we have the opportunity to create that for other people, and
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[rebecca_george]: I think that really matters. you know.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: It absolutely does because so often, um, many of us, uh, women in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: particular, tend to hold a quite a bit of emotional labor, so
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[rebecca_george]: y.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: we stay emotionally fatigued because you know something. You
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: mentioned the pandemic. You know, During the pandemic, many parents
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: held on to significant emotional labor because they didn't want
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: their kids to get worried. So you know that may have had their job
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: laid off. Mom may have had her job laid off. They may be barely
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: making it, and the kids think everything's great, because the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: parents are are holding all without emotional labor themselves to
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: prevent the kids from being stressed or scared or afraid. And so
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: when you know that happens, we we have to recognize that just
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: because you don't verbalize your emotions doesn't take the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: emotional strain of them off a you. You have to have times when you
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: lay down that burden and you have the ability to kind of release
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: it. And that's what having those people that you can share that
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: information with, it's not that they're going to solve the problem,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: it's just that they'. They're allowing you space to get it out of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you so that you don't have to keep carrying the the load of that.
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[rebecca_george]: yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so good. Well, there is a question that I ask all
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[rebecca_george]: of our guests that come on the show. It's my favorite question and it comes
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[rebecca_george]: back to kind of the direction Godd me for the podcast which was Som thirty
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[rebecca_george]: four five. It says, Those who look to him or radiant and their faces are
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[rebecca_george]: never covered in shame. So we love around here talking about. You know what
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[rebecca_george]: does it look like when we keep our eyes fixed on him, and and that idea of
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[rebecca_george]: radiance being what happens in us when we spend time in the presence of God.
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[rebecca_george]: And so the question I love asking is Doctor Saundra, What about Jesus makes
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[rebecca_george]: you
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[rebecca_george]: raiantm? that so good, so beautiful. while I am so grateful for the work
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Oh, I love that question. What when I think about that, Just um,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the moment you said the word radiance, what came radian andt what
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: came to mind is in the the book. It was the very last, s. The very
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: last chapter, the very last thing I wrote and I wasn't even going
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: to put it in there, but my editor said You've got to include that.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Um. I. I talk about much of what I share about in a book of my re
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: experiences with female patienttis, and and working with them. And
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you know those women who shared with me on this level, and who
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: allow me to be that safe place as their physician and and also
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: their friend. At this point, Um, I, I actually call them part of a
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: diamond society. It's part of a group of people who have gone
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: through kind of the dirt of life, have gone through hard stuff who
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: has had pressure and heat kind of applied to the different areas of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: their life, And they go through this place of being concealed and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: hidden where nobody knows who they are And and they don't even
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: really know who they are, And then you know as time goes, you, you
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: see them kind of emerged, just like a diamond does, emerging out of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: the earth, And then there's this time where it's It's finally kind
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: of. Presented, and it becomes an outeration that maybe goes in in
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: a, in a place of prominence where other people can see, And so when
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: I think of the word radiance, I feel like that is what God. and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: that is what Jesus means to me. He, he's there, is a leading from
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: this place of of really, of the pressure and the the heat and the
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: concealment, and all of those things that seem so hard to this
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: place where he's like Okay, You caned through all of that Now, Let
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: every every facet of who you are, every imperfection, every part of
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: you. that that reflects who I am, Let it be visible to the world,
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: and don't be ashamed of any aspect of it, because all of it is
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: radiant for me.
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[rebecca_george]: that you do for a women to encourage them and to set them free from these
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[rebecca_george]: lies that we so often feel so trapped by. And so I want to say the name of
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[rebecca_george]: your book one more time, set free to live free. And it was Sacred rest. Is
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[rebecca_george]: that the the name of the other one? Did I catch that right?
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yes, the other book is called Sacred rest.
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[rebecca_george]: Yes, Sacred rest, I thought so. Okay, so I want you to share with people.
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[rebecca_george]: Where can they find you? Where can they grab? both of these books. Share all
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[rebecca_george]: that with us.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Yes, well, my blog is that I choose my best life Dot com and that's
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: where you can get information about my books and and resources and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: different things as well. I have a podcast as well. by the same
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: name. I choose my best life and the books can are available. Really
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: whereever books are sold so definitelyathly on Amazon, Barnes and
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Nobles in all of those places.
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[rebecca_george]: Awesome, Well, I, again, I am so grateful for your work and your
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[rebecca_george]: encouragement to day. Thank you so much for being with me.
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[dr_saundra_dalton_smith]: Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
