Episode 144. Focus On What Matters Most with Michelle Myers and Somer Phebus

Unedited Transcript

Michelle summer. I am so thrilled to have you guys here today. Thank you for being with me. So I y'all, I wanted to have you all for so long. So I'm so glad that we have an excuse. You have a book coming out and we're going to talk all about that today. And I can't wait to get into that. I love that your publisher allowed you to title it after the work that you've been doing for years.

And that's where I'd love to sort of start. So for my people who have not heard of, she works his way, I'd love for you to just talk a little bit about that. Story of just what God has been doing through both of y'all long before this book came to fruition. So tell a little bit more of your story. Okay.

Well, she works his way. Didn't begin as she works his way, there was no website. There was no logo. It was for friends. Some are now being two of those friends meeting at 5:00 AM on Google hangout. Do you remember Google hangout once a week? And it was. We met for the same reason why our, she works as my community still exists today.

We wanted to hold one, another accountable to keeping God first, we all worked in a similar industry and we could see and feel raw of success and the lure of recognition and the, the accomplishment of a bridge paycheck. And while none of those things are evil in them. Um, when they become the focus or when they become the point, it's easy to let the most important things in life get, get missed because we can miss what doing what matters most.

And so in those 5:00 AM meetings, we just started opening God's word. Praying for each other and reminding one another of truth that the world will never shout at you because culture will tell you things like how much happier you'll be, if you'll achieve more. Um, but they never tell you what that achievement may cost you.

If you ignore what's most important to get right. Um, or the world will never tell you, Hey, what you do as a mom, what you do as a wife, what you do in that volunteer position at your church, like it's so important. So we want. We wanted to be able to tell each other those things. And so that's, that's what we did.

We were just really, really honest with each other. And we had been meeting for almost a year when the three of them convinced me to start an Instagram account. And that at that point, that was in 2014. And it grew faster than any other account that I've ever managed. Um, women were hungry. For this conversation.

And after about a year of sharing there on Instagram, like we needed to go deeper. Um, we needed a safe space that wasn't public forum to be able to really connect with one another. And that was when we launched the membership community that is known today as she works this way. And that was the fall of 2015.

And we've just continued having that conversation ever since. Um, we now have DeVos that are on the YouVersion app. We have an annual conference that meets once a year. We're getting ready to have our fifth one in November in Asheville. And it has just been a continuation of this conversation. Women that share this heartbeat, saying like, what, what, what are the needs that are here and what can we do to meet them?

And it's just continued to evolve. That's so good. You know, I went to my first conference a couple of weeks ago. Pandemic that I've, that I've been to. And, you know, any of us have, none of us have been to anything in a couple of years. And it was interesting what God did. I love conferences. I'm a speaker. I am all about it.

Right. However, there are instances, I think, where, and this was one of them where the conversations that I have. With seven women at a dinner table over chips in case. So late that night for three and a half hours had more fruit than some of the content where out where I would sit in a room for eight hours and listen.

Right. And so I just, I love what God does sometimes through those intimate, like small groups of women. Stack hands of like, all right, we are all following Jesus. How do we partner together and pray through hard things and do that together. And so we left this conference and we all kind of had the same.

We all walked away with sort of the same sentiment of that conference was great, but I just really love y'all. And how do we like carry this on after, you know, after the conference ended. And so we started a Marco polo, um, where we go back and forth and we, we pray over. Motherhood bangs and church things and work things, and it's just been such a blessing.

And so I love, um, just seeing like the humble beginnings of your story as well, that that's kinda where it started. I think God does really special things when we, we invest in those like small groups of women, you know? Um, so anyway, that's just a recent example in my life of where God really, really use that.

So it's been really good. Well, and I think that's because, because that's how she works is we started, like, I want you to know, like at our conference at narrow, like the chips and salsa with seven women, like, we make sure that that happens at the event. Exactly. That is you're absolutely right. That is the Mo those are such vital important.

So we just want to surround people around a mission. Get you all to share with one another on a smaller scale. Cause it's, it's incredible. So yeah, you do feel super lonely. In the place of being a, she works his way, woman, um, who loves her faith and loves her church and loves her God, but has been placed in a secular workplace.

And so it's not that I didn't think there wasn't anyone else like me, there just wasn't a bridge to anyone else. Yeah. It wasn't easy to find the women who were also dealing with what I was dealing with. So when we came together, as she works his way, I think the reason Michelle's words were so impactful on an Instagram page was because we were, I mean, they were things that were replaying in our head over and over and over, and we knew it wasn't right.

And we didn't feel settled about it, but at the same time, we didn't know who to reach out to, to go another story. So it was just the beauty of the reminder. And then the comradery, if you will, of just knowing that you get me without me even having to, like, we don't have to, we don't have to meet for seven weeks before we get to the place where.

I get you like she works his way. Yeah. Yeah. I love that so much. Uh, yes, it's so good. Well, I am so excited about your book. It's called she works his way, a practical guide for doing what matters most and to get things done world and where I'd sort of yeah. Start for our listeners today is kind of around this thought of why is it so hard for us to figure out what really matters most?

Um, well, I, I'm just curious. What are the things that you're seeing women face right now in terms of that? Um, we'll get into the practical, like, okay, well, what do we do about it here in a minute, but what are you seeing right now in women, um, that you think is holding us back and kind of figuring out what matters.

It for me, what I am seeing, what I've experienced myself personally, and the, what I hear from like my peers and other women is the overwhelming. Noise that is out there. It's just too many voices and we're not trying to be another voice. We're just trying to elevate God's voice about everything else. And so the constant reminder of she works his way is the constant reminder of everything in scripture.

It's the constant reminder of what Jesus told us from the beginning. So doing what matters most is much easier. To define when you are surrounded by the voices who are also learning what matters most, and they're pulling it from scripture and they're hearing it in their local churches and they're talking about it in their discipleship groups.

And so coming alongside each other and remind each other of that, that is what to me is so incredibly valuable because here's the thing. There are so many good things that we could all do. Nobody is questioning. Should I have five girls night outs this week instead of be home taking care of my family?

Like nobody wonders if that is what is the priority there? I wonder which one to do, but there are causes, there are people hurting. There are needs that. Like that need met. There are plenty of opportunities for us to do a lot. So for us to understand what matters most is how we're going to be able to prioritize what we're supposed to be doing, and really walk in the calling that God's given us, because we see the picture of it in scripture, the body of Christ, like, like we need all the fingers we need the feet.

We need the legs when we aren't careful. To see what matters most for us, meaning our personal unique calling from God when we don't pay attention to that, we end up trying to be a big toe when we're supposed to be an elbow. You know what I mean? And it just gets really confusing. And then what happens is overwhelmed.

And then what happens is burnout. And we're not able to show up in the places we need to show up. Yeah, that's really good. And I think one of, at least in my own life, one of the enemy's most creative stuff. And trying to distract me is sort of this thought of like getting overwhelmed by God's will or my calling or my purpose.

Sometimes we get so just, okay, well, I don't want to miss it and am I doing it right. And all of those things, and if 2020 showed me nothing, it was the most days of my wife. In Moses's life terms are not burning Bush days, right? Like most of the days of my life are taking that next step of obedience with God of stopping at the grocery store.

I just went to the grocery store right before this call to pick up a few things. And it reminded me of. Uh, when we were in the middle of quarantine, you know, there were weeks where the only human being, I saw life on life, apart from my husband was Sharon who checks me out at Kroger every week. Right. But I started, I started realizing like, I know Shannon, but I don't know her name.

And I know nothing about her story. I don't know if she knows Christ. All I know is she spent her entire day. Helping people find toilet paper and hand sanitizer. And how can I show her the love of Christ in these 42 seconds that I have with her? And I just, I say that because I think so many, um, so many times we get.

We get so overwhelmed that we miss what God's doing right in front of us. And, um, coming back to what matters most, I think for me, the thing that God has been driving home is like, don't miss those micro moments that you think don't matter because they, like, they like really do, um, and really seeing those and taking those opportunities even when they seem small.

And so anyway, that just comes to mind after what you said. Um, that was a big teacher of 2020 for me. So. Yes. Yes. That's so true. The mundane and the tedious, I mean, that's 90% of where we'll spend our lives. So we're only focused on the 10% then we're going to live unfulfilled and discontent. And we're not going to feel like spiritually excited about life because we are just waiting for the next big thing.

But those mundane, those tedious moments, that is where Jesus shows up in such a huge and beautiful way. Every single. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. So good. Okay. I'm going to read a quote from me, ladies that says like you, we see a culture that promotes success at all costs and working women are falling for it. It's happening every day and not just to anyone, but to women.

We love and respect women just like us marriages and homes are unraveling. Priorities are shifting. Things are getting done, but are we doing what matters most? So for somebody listening today who really needs just that practical, like, all right, Michelle and Sam. How in the world do I do this? How do I figure out what matters most?

What encouragement would you want to leave her with today? So averse that we come back to over and over and over again is Matthew 6 33. And it says, seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. What happens frequently? In our lives right now is that we try to seek all the things and somehow find a place for Jesus in the mix.

And then we wonder why it's not working. And so what we have to remember is there's a big difference because putting God first is a simplifier, but it's not easy. And so just like when the Pharisees asked Jesus, what is the greatest command? And all of the law and his answer was essentially to love God and love others.

That was much easier to say and much easier to remember than all of the law, but it made the law much harder to live because it had to be done with love. It's so putting God first. In every area is the best way to put everything else in your life, in it's place to putting God's God first we'll put everything else in your life in its rightful place, because we all know seasons change, responsibilities change.

And so it's going to be a constant juggling act. But if we just always know. I don't have to order everything else in my life. Every time something changes and something shifts. All I have to make sure that I do is that I keep God first and then he will order and he will direct everything else. Again, simple, not easy, but when done with consistency allows you to see God show up in all the ways that he promises that he will.

Yeah, you get to see him show up as provider. You get to see him show up a sustainer. You get to see him show up as just faithful to himself, to his promises, to his people. You get to see that. And so with time still not easy, but like your struggle. Less you fight against it. Less you fight against the flesh.

The flesh learns to submit quicker. And so. Put it into practice of literally just saying, how, how do I put really, really put God first? And it goes back to what honestly, what you were just talking about, because we can get so overwhelmed, but often we do, we think of God's will being something that is futuristic.

Then the clearest example of God's will is where he has you now. And so instead of. Fantasizing about where he may take you in the future. What if we fantasize about how can I maximize dad's kingdom right now, where he has me today in this place. And sometimes like, I use the word fantasizing. Cause if you're changing diapers or if you are just sending emails or if you're doing any of those mundane things that we talked about, but whoa, he can show up when the heart is willing to submit the task to him and say, Use it.

Yeah. Yeah. And like leave the rest to God, you know, like I think there's a lot of stuff that when we, when we do truly have that Matthew 6 30, 3 mentality, like there's some stuff we're going to have to let go. And there's some stuff we're gonna there. There's balls, we're going to drop and there's, we're not going to get it.

All right. But it makes me think of. The whole truth of his power is made perfect in our weaknesses and submitting those things to him as well in that whole process of like, okay, God, what, what would you have me put my hands to today that matters most to you and to your kingdom? And, uh, And just surrendering, surrendering everything else to him, you know?

And I think sometimes at least for me, I'm an achiever personality sometimes not having it all together and admitting my weaknesses is one of the harder parts of my walk with Christ, right. Like I don't, I don't like dropping balls. I don't like feeling like I don't have it all together. But when I realize he is provider, he is sustainer.

He is all of those truths that you just mentioned and I'm allowing him. By surrendering those things and allowing him to work in that way in my life is such a powerful thing. So I love that you, I love that you share that. One of the pieces that I think is really vital to this book, to this message is.

The whole conversation around having a gospel centered approach to work and to womanhood. Um, if this is sort of a new thought for people or if somebody says, okay, that sounds great. But I w I want to hear what that looks like. Would you unpack that a little bit for us? Yeah. Um, when it comes to being gospel centered, That too.

If there was a picture of it, we want women to see that as the foundation for everything that we do. So it's what we stand on, but it's also what overflows out of us. I believe one of the places we mess up in womanhood is by forcing women to compartmentalize every part of who they are. So I'm a woman.

And okay. That's one hat. I'm a working woman. That's another hat I serve at my church. That's another hat I fill in the blank with whatever it is usually surrounding a gift set that God gave you an opportunity. God gave you, um, something like what Michelle was just talking about, the place you are, the people he has surrounded you with.

It probably has something to do with all those things. And for every single item on the list, we put on a different hat. Gospel centered approach becomes this way to look at work and womanhood as one thing. It's I am a woman of God. And because I am a woman of God, everything that I do will be gospel-centered and how I do it.

And the posture that I take in the way I speak about it and the way I carry myself and I will mess up and I will fall shirt short. But go back to the gospel centered approach. What is the gospel? It was that Jesus died for me on a cross, and then he rose again. And that is the picture. That is the beauty.

That is everything I need to take all the pressure off of me performing and changing hats quick enough, and being the best I can in whatever role I'm placed in and me just sitting in his presence and going Lord show up in me today. Do what only you can do through me. In my work in my home, in my baking, in the mill train, I just signed up for in whatever possible way, show up inside of me and do something great and do something mighty that I couldn't do.

And I'm not going to waste energy, changing hats, or trying to get good at a position or trying to spiritualize one of these tasks that are on my list because it it's all gospel centered. It's all ministry. And as Christian women. We are missionaries wherever we are all day long, whether it's a secular workplace or you're at your kid's school as the room mom, like it is ministry.

So when we show up. And we don't feel like we have to apologize for that. And we treat it as such number one, there's this incredible energy inside of us because it's an overflow of the holy spirit, not us trying to get one more thing squeezed into our calendar because we're a woman we think we should.

And number two, like God, Does things like he moves. He allows us to be witnesses and walking testimonies and he displays our gifts and our weaknesses and gets the glory for him. So it's this, the gospel centered approach is. The best way to live your life because it takes the pressure off of who we are.

It reminds us of why we exist. It reminds us of our purpose, which is really just to become more like Jesus. And then as we're becoming more like Jesus to do the things that he puts in front of us, to the best of our ability, every single step of the way, and the best of our ability is the best of whatever we allow the holy spirit to do inside of us.

So it's like, it's almost like cheating. The pressure comes off our shoulders and we get to just move and walk in the spirit. Escalations tells us just walking in the spirit, doing the things that we're supposed to do with the freedom. Christ gives us to do all. Yeah, that's right. It makes me this conversation always makes me think of that.

Stephen Covey principle of like the big rocks, you know what I mean? Where you identify those things that matter most in your life. And, and there's a whole illustration that people do from a stage of putting, you know, you put all the little rocks and then you can't fit the big, big rocks into your life any longer.

Taking that to a gospel centered approach. It's like, no. What if the actual bin that I'm putting the rocks of my life in is the gospel, right? Like I'm in, I'm inviting God into all these pieces of my life. Sure. I have a lot of hats and I'm putting my hands to a lot of things. However, um, I'm inviting the gospel and I'm inviting God into all of those places rather than.

The gospel being ahead itself, right? Like I think for so many women, that's, that's the step that we have to overcome, right? Like that's the script that we have to flip is stop seeing Michelle. You have a really cute baseball hat on right now. It's not like the switching of whatever hat I'm in. I do that all day long, but it's like, okay, God, you were in the midst.

All of it and how do I get you into all of it? So, okay. Well, I am, I'm so excited about this book. It's going to be out by the time this conversation airs, which is so exciting. So before we go over to our Patrion community and get to know you ladies, a little better, which I'm really excited about, I just want you to share what are you excited about in terms of what God is doing through.

She works his way right now. Tell us kind of what he's doing. I have two things and I can't choose between them. So the mentoring, so the majority of what we have done up to this point has been online and with the exception of our annual conference and the thing that we have learned the longer that this community has been around, and that has grown to attract a diverse community of women across, um, different jobs and industries, is that.

It doesn't matter if you are an online entrepreneur or a unpaid volunteer at your kid's school, or you have the corner office in the corporate world, or you are a virtual assistant to six different companies. If you are a Christ follower. Who works. These are the conversations and these are the things that echo in your head.

And so we understand that there is a whole group of women that probably are not plugged in online, have never heard this mission and are still waiting to have this conversation. And so by having a offline piece of the book that can exist in retail places, um, I tear up. Think about her walking past it, because she's wanted to have this conversation.

She didn't know it existed. And so to be able to reach the woman in an offline space is just such a huge answer to prayer and something that only God could have done. So I'm very excited about that. Um, the second thing is she works his way has always existed from the beginning. We've. Adopted the phrase from acts 1541, that Paul set of his missionary journeys of strengthening the churches.

That's always been something that we have wanted to do. And so by understanding that the local church is God's plan a, the bride of Christ, like we have always wanted to come here. Aside the local church and equipping the saints for ministry. And so by helping working women, to be able to see the work that they do and to view their workplace as the mission field, we pray that that helps them to go back to their local churches and into their communities stronger for, for the gospel.

And we are just seeing that come together in a whole new way of a lot of other women that also share this heartbeat. And so we. Some are and are never going anywhere where we're here at. She works his way for forever. So you guys are stuck with us. So I'm not telling you that we're going anywhere, but in terms of more women that share this heartbeat, but that bring a different experience, a different skillset, a different background, um, to be able to come and continue to strengthen this mission, ultimately to strengthen the churches is something new and exciting that we only see growing.

And so. It's just, God is so good to be able to, to bring his people together, to not in, it's just such a beautiful protection for us. We've never wanted this to be a ministry that was personality driven, but truly mission driven. And so to be able to see the women in our community, like wanting to step up and wanting to, to lead and share from their strengths and what God's doing in their heart.

I don't run out of words often, but I don't have them. You know, I get to talk to a lot of authors doing this gig, which is like the most fun thing ever. And I think one of the things that blows my mind is watching how God will take a message and some of these heartbeat of either their life experience or how he's wired them.

And, and we'll put this message so deep in their hearts and what people don't realize when you hold a book in your hands. Nobody has any idea, unless you're an author, what has happened and what God has done behind the scenes to make that happen. I mean, I'm walking down that path too. I, by the time this comes out, I will probably be writing the manuscript for my first book.

And, um, it's been like a seven year old. For me, and I don't know your whole story, but what I do know, because you're about to publish a book. I mean, you've been in this for years, right? Like preparing for this. And so it's fun as y'all are walking into this season to even reflect on, like, women are going to walk in Barnes and noble.

Who who don't have, they haven't found them yet. And they're going to find your community and they're going to fit. They're going to find out about what God is doing and the conversations that you all are having. Um, and he's going to use that in her life in a mighty way. And I just want to celebrate that, like how cool is that thought that that's going to happen like hundreds and thousands of times?

But we don't, we honestly putting one of your organs, how that's, how it feels right now is that till now, but yeah, aren't words. There's an celebrate is the right. It's the right word. It feels celebratory while also feeling so uncomfortably naked that you can't. So it's a weird celebration, but yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get that, man. I'm so excited for you guys. I can't wait for this to come out. I was so thrilled when you know, doing podcasting, you find out about books long before they come out. And so I remember when I heard about your book. Yeah. So excited that you guys were finally doing this. So I can't wait for it to get in listener's hands.

I can't wait for those moments to happen in Barnes and noble. And it's just, it's going to be so good. I can't wait to see what God does. Um, so I am, I'm so excited to go over to our Patrion community, where we're going to get to know you ladies a little bit better, which is going to be really fun. But for now, I just want you to share real quick, where can people connect with you?

Where can they get plugged into your community? So head to, she works his way.com. We make it very simple. There's a join button in the top right-hand corner that will get you connected to our community because while the content, the training, the resources that we put together, not just us, but utilizing the women that have come together inside our committee.

We we listen and we respond. So we don't have to wonder, is this what you need? We just listened to what you're telling us. We need and try, do our best to find somebody that can help us provide it for you. Um, but truly the best part about our community is the women you get to meet because like summer said, a lot of times.

Because we're just a little more guarded because we usually feel misunderstood because we're the only believer where we work or we're the only working woman in that Christian circle. Um, it is a place where you come and you feel instantly connected. And so if you feel misunderstood, most places you go, please do not.

Don't do that anymore. Come be apart. Let us love on you. Um, we don't take lightly that we call it a community. I know that that can become a buzzword, but we really do. We know each other. We pray for each other. Um, and it's, it's a huge blessing we think somewhere. And I would both tell you, um, based on evidence of how it started, this is simply an extension of the community that we needed ourselves.

We, we are in the trenches. Of it with you. We're not claiming to be experts in the trenches of it with you though, right? Yeah. That's so good. Well, I'm so thankful for y'all and, uh, just for how God is using you. I can't wait for this book to come out. So I'm going to say the title of it. One more time for people.

If you didn't catch it at the beginning, it's called she works his way, a practical guide for doing what matters most and a get things done world. So Michelle summer, I'm so excited for you. Thank you so much for being my guest. Thanks for having us. And we're excited for your book too.